To be honest, I've never been good at sticking to healthy diets and maintaining a daily exercise routine. I'm pretty sure most people in the world aren't, and like most people, particularly women, the fat that I consume tends to go to my hips. I've always had big hips, always will, and my legs are pretty voluptuous as well... So, knowing that everything I eat ends up there because I'm a lazy fuck makes me feel like utter crap, especially because I still eat like a walrus and I still pretend to not care. I often tell myself that it's time to get off my lazy ass and do something about it.
"Do it for yourself, Diana. Do it to make yourself feel better."
Meanwhile, I am sitting on my bed, writing about constipation, because apparently that's what I like to do with my spare time now. My mom gets sick of it too; quite often, even. Last year she sent me to this "purification camp" (it's in quotes because it was a fat camp for fatties and drug addicts), and for three weeks I lived the life of a vegan. To all the vegans out there, you are wonderful people for doing this to your body. I've witnessed first hand how it can help, but the sad fact is that meat is delicious. Meat and shitty food that makes you fat. The only thing we were allowed to eat was vegetable soup and juice. I hate soup. So when I got there, I knew I was fucked.
I decided not to eat, and for 2 weeks and 3 days of my life I stayed away from food. And I only lost ten pounds. I actually made a few friends, and even when I don't talk to them anymore, I had a great time. We used to gather at this zen garden thing and we'd talk about how delicious food is around a campfire. We fantasized about food around a campfire. Just remembering the taste of delicious meat made us fall into a dead silence, look to the stars above and savor that imaginary beef in our mouths. That's what that camp was doing to us. We did get to do lots of fun activities to keep our minds away from the thought of food; we even did Tai Chi near the pool and that made me feel like a waterbender. However, the hunger didn't let me enjoy anything. I was grumpy, I hated everyone, and in the middle of the whole thing I got my period, so I was hungry, grumpy, sleep deprived and bleeding to death. I can safely say that was the worst week of my life. After the second week without eating, though, I was already going insane. They were forced to give me serum in order to keep me from passing out since I absolutely refused to eat. But it was only because I only wanted to eat meat and they wouldn't let me. At one point I even fantasized about eating the most hated kid in our group. Only because I knew no one would miss him and I was sure that if we all came to the conclusion that we had to kill one of the kids in our group in order to eat meat, that kid would be the unanimous choice.
Ever since then, I've never been able to stick to a diet. Only because I know they all say that eating healthy is easy, when it really isn't. It's a lot easier to sit down, grab a tub of ice cream and hate yourself after you're done eating that shit.
